Missing Her-

When I was little my “real mom” decided 1 day she didn’t want kids anymore…so she packed her stuff and walked out. My dad was in the military, stationed in California at the time, knew that raising 3 kids would be hard So my older brother RJ, younger sister Shanna and I  got shipped off to live with our grandmother, Nanay,  in Alabama. We were still babies, so re really don’t remember anything. Nanay, over the years, had become more than just a grandmother-she had become our mom. She was all we knew. The person who taught us and raised us into the people we are today. It wasn’t easy though…for any of us. I mean, my dad chose to give up his kids, Nanay being so willing to take us in, and our mother not thinking anything about all the damage she just caused. Don’t get me wrong, I had a great childhood! It was just hard growing up and seeing all my classmates’ moms and dads,and knowing that I only had my Nanay. I don’t want to say that I was embarrassed because that wasn’t it…I don’t know, I was just wanting so bad to have the “ideal family”. You know, with the mom and the dad and everyone just as happy as they could be. Anyways, my dad got out of the military after 14 years, and came home. Nanay welcomed him just as she did us. Nanay was the type of person to always put others before herself. She wanted to make sure everyone was OK and worried that they weren’t. I wish y’all could have met her. You see, she passed away in August of 2004 from cancer. I miss her like crazy! She was the last person I would have ever thought would have been taken from me. She was a head-strong woman of God, with the sweetest spirit. Hard working and everything! I just wish she was here! I want her to see me…a high school graduate from NSM, college girl at NACC on a full-tution scholarship. I wished she could have seen me and Shanna before prom and told us how pretty we looked. I just pretend that I could hear her screaming with joy at my graduation. I want her to be at my wedding and see my future kids, but she’s not here. I just wish she could see how we have changed just within 3 years and say “I’m so proud of my little girl.” This pain is so unreal! Some days I feel like I’m dreaming… I just love her so much, and I never imagined I would have to live my life without her. She was my extraordinary in my eyes. I know I will see her again someday, but still other days, I need her here. To hold me…to protect me…to love me.

Catch Me Next Week!  

Freshman Life

Hey y’all! This week has been great! I made 2 A’s and a B on my first 3 tests in college! Talk about some major excitement! l0l College life is SO awesome! Work has been good too, so I am just full of happiness. l0l I am making so many new friends, it’s just wonderful! It just amazes me how the people you grew up with your whole life and know everything about start to fade when new people step into the picture. You know that old saying, “You will keep your college friends for life”. I was just wondering where your high school people disappeared to? But true friends will always stick around, or at least that’s what I hope.

I’m going to my boyfriend’s first home game Thursday. I am so excited…it’s about time they play at home. (Not that it’s any closer, but still) l0l. Oh, the girls’ night went great! We all really needed it! It was a blast, and I can’t wait til we have another “girl’s night”. l0l Well I have homework to attend too and a another test tomorrow, so I think I better hit the books. l0l

Catch me next week! MUAH! =)

Another Week As A College Girl!

Hi people! I have been so stressed here lately! I just feel like crying some days. I think that I am just over-whelmed with all that’s going on. I just need to take a day to myself. l0l Being a full-time student and having a part-time job is a lot. And when my scholarship rides on my grades and service hours, I start to worry. But I will be ok. I got to see my boyfriend Cam this weekend, so that made me forget about my worries there for a little while. He is a sophomore at MTSU. Yeah I know…he should have just came to Northeast with me l0l. I have a next in a week in biology on the first 5 chapters! AHHH! That’s quite a bit of stuff if I do say so myself, but hopefully everything will go ok. SGA (Student Government Association) elections are over! We find out tonight whether we got it or not, so cross your fingers lol. I have a presidential host meeting tonight, so I need to get on the ball and try to work on my homework before I leave, but I’d rather not. lol So I had my first tests as a college student last week. I find out tomorrow what I made! Hopefully good. Oh did I tell you that the girls and I are having a girls night this weekend! It’s going to be so much fun! I’m really excited. We’re going to downtown Chattanooga (Chat Town). We could all use a stress-free evening! l0l Well that’s about all this week.

Catch me next week! =) MUAH!

A Little Stressed…

OMG! What a week it has been! I am so over whelmed, I feel like I can’t breathe sometimes. College is SO different from high school, it’s not even funny! It’s great though…just a lot of work and a WHOLE lot more homework!I have 2 tests on Friday and then a test next Thursday…talk about doing some major studying. L0L Oh, did I tell you that I was running for SGA representative. Yeah I know I’m really excited about it! I have been making posters like crazy! And campaigning…oh campaigning is so much fun! It reminds me of my high school elections. L0L But between campaigning, studying, and working a part-time job, I’m EXHAUSTED! Hopefully I will manage, I always do! Anyways, my biology test next week is on the first 5 chapters. AHH! I was so NOT expecting that! And my test in English is on this novel we have been reading…I should tell you my reading comprehension is horrible, but I liked the book, so I think I will be ok. My music test is Friday too! I know…2 tests in 1 day! But music is so much fun and the instructor is really cool. All the teachers here are great! They make the atmosphere at Northeast calm, cool, and collective. L0LI’m just a worry-wart though and stress about everything. Like having all these tests and elections and working, and then having to study on top of everything else, sometimes I think I’m just crazy trying to handle so much. And I’m scared I am going to fail in some of my classes and like the semester has just got started, and if I fail, then I lose my scholarship! I know I need to calm down, but I guess that’s just how I cope with things. L0L I want to succeed and all that jazz, I just take on too much…I don’t know,  I like to do so many things and be involved, I forget sometimes–that I’m not Super Woman.Catch me next week! J MUAH!