It’s My Birthday!

So as of this week I am officially one year older! I don’t feel any different, but I love birthdays…especially mine! Everyone was telling me happy birthday at school and at work…yeah I know I had to work on my birthday, but you can’t really celebrate on a week day.*l0l* I even had people texting me at like 12 just to tell me happy birthday! I feel so special! And when we had our presidential host meeting…they threw my a little party! How sweet was that?! My good friends Chris and Laura were the master minds of it. They had me some cupcakes that said “Happy Birthday Jackie” and all that other good junk food! I was so excited and thrilled that they planned something just for me! I loved every minute! I have the greatest friends in the world!

School…well it’s going! I feel like I am so behind in journalism that it isn’t even funny! AHH! I hate being behind, but with 4 other classes and a work I just don’t have the time for more of anything. Some people say to never get behind in college because it is so hard to get caught back up, but I am determined to catch up and to make the Dean’s List again! I’m trying to stay positive through all this stress, so hopefully everything will work out.

Well I’m about to get ready. I have places to go and people to see, but catch me next time!

 

heartbroken & single but trying to stay strong…

So…Cam and I broke up almost 3 weeks ago! Yeah I know…and for once, I didn’t do it. I don’t know what happened…the fighting just kept getting worse and we weren’t getting along; so one day I told him I wasn’t happy and that I wasn’t going to pretend to be. I love him to death, but sometimes, stuff gets out. I mean him and I had been together for over 2 years, and that was a struggle in itself. With me being here and him being there during high school, then we’re at too different colleges 160 miles apart…it’s hard! And what makes it even harder is that we looked great together, were happy at some times,but had put so much into this relationship that now I feel like we done it all for nothing. He was my best friend!  I hate this! I hate having this empty feeling I can’t fill! Especially when Cam and I talked about spending our whole lives together and living “happily ever after” and now I just feel like I’m in a nightmare. Some days I don’t even know what to do, so I just cry! But see, I can’t let that show because I am supposed to be “wackie jackie”! The crazy one who makes people laugh, so they can’t see the pain I am going through! I have to make this heartache invisible! Don’t get me wrong I have great friends that have been there for me, but sometimes friends can only do so much. And you know, hearing all those sappy love songs or seeing other couples together makes this whole thing even harder…especially when people don’t know and then they ask you about him? OMG! Or even when he calls and catches me off guard! That’s when my emotions start going crazy…because then I get all tore up and upset! I’m telling you…this is one of the worst feelings I have ever had, but I’m trying so hard to stay strong. As much as I want to get back with him, I know things would go right back to the way things were and I just can’t do that anymore! And you know…I’m young…I have the rest of my life, and I have to be happy before I can make someone else happy. Over time I know things will get better because time heals everything! So for now I’m just going to be strong…or at least try to be! 

Catch me next time!